apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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