i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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