i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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