I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
