I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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