I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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