I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
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It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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