I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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