hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
