I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
