I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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