Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
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