do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
