woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I am naked and annoyed.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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