So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
