I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize