if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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