I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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