I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just cropdusted the office
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
