community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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