We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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