halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
