I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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