So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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