You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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