Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
