Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
