I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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