so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
