i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
