im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
