yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
