5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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