Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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