just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
