best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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