I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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