i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Screwed.edu
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
