Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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