Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Your cock deserves a montage
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
