I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
