Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
