you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
