she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
