I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
