Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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