Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
