hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
