Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I skipped work to stalk him.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize