his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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