I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Congratulations! We have a period
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
