You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
