i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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