LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize