i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
