forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
