period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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