Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
