I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
